One Way Or Another (Operation Get the Boy)
by tesstesstessa
Summary: "She was Lily Evans, after all, and if she wanted to be a seductress, she'd damn well be one." Lily's six-day attempt to get James. One-shot.


A/N: For some reason I had to get this story out of my system. Sorry for the lack of updates, and I hope this makes up for it (:

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, or the Blondie song 'One Way Or Another'.

* * *

><p><span><strong>One Way Or Another (Operation Get the Boy)<strong>

It was almost the new year. Only a few months left - Lily ached to think of it - until they graduated from Hogwarts. Lily wasn't usually one for resolutions, but she had one for this year. She called it - only in the privacy of her mind, of course - Operation Get The Boy. The entire step-by-step process hadn't been planned yet, but the essence of it was simple. Get the boy. The boy here being James Potter. And all right, she'd cheated a little, charming the mistletoe so it followed her around. Just in case. But her plan would be foolproof, she told herself. She was Lily Evans, after all, and if she wanted to be a seductress, she'd damn well be one.

* * *

><p>(Operation Get the Boy, Day 1)<p>

She had patrol that night with James. Of late, they'd been slackers - just sitting in the office with the Map open beside them. She'd felt guilty about it the first time, but then the full weight of their NEWT coursework had hit her. She had so much work, she was exhausted at any time after classes. And James wasn't half bad at some of this Transfiguration stuff.

That night, though, she was dressed for the kill. Blouse just a bit tighter, bra a little brighter, skirt a little higher. It wasn't a drastic change, but if James really fancied her like mad - as she'd heard but was uncertain whether or not to believe - he'd notice. And it was little things like this that Lily could twist to her advantage.

"The details will drive him mad," Dorcas had assured her.

She'd taken her word for it. Dorcas knew her boys. Also, the bra was red, as per Sirius's advice, supplemented by Remus and Peter's agreement that red was James's favourite colour. _Note to self_, she thought as she made her way down the corridor, _always befriend the best mates._

"Hi, James," she said, striding into the Head Office with a wide smile.

"Oh, hello, Lily." He barely looked up, frowning at a piece of parchment. Lily could hardly suppress her own frown.

"What's that?" she asked.

"Herbology essay, remember?"

"Right. The one due last week." At the teasing note in her voice, James looked up just long enough to give her a wicked grin.

"Sprout really loves me."

Oh, dratted Sprout. Lily walked to his side of the table and dropped a scroll beside his essay. "Lucky for you, I'm feeling generous."

"Ah, Lily, you don't have to play cold with me." This time he looked at her properly. "Tha-" His gaze fell to the hem of her skirt. _Aha_, Lily thought, _a weakness!_ James cleared his throat. "Thanks."

"Of course. Repayment for the Transfig work, remember?"

"Are we keeping score now?"

"Well, no, I'm only being helpful." Lily sat in the chair next to his, crossing her legs in one slow, graceful motion. He was too focused on the parchment to notice. Lily sat a little straighter. She wouldn't be beaten by bloody Herbology homework.

"Is the Map all right?" she said. _Right. Very sexy, Lily, asking about Head duties._

"Hmm? Oh, all clear. Have a look if you like." James passed her the Marauders' Map, and Lily squinted at the parchment, pretending to study it while actually watching her partner. She decided James was even better-looking in profile; his long nose and messy hair really did the trick. She was a tad obsessed with his nose. Then there were the glasses she'd grown to love, if only for the absentminded, endearing way he pushed them up his nose. And the shadow of stubble over his jawline - oh, she _really_ liked his jaw-

Merlin. He wasn't even trying and he was having more of an effect on her than she was on him.

She turned her gaze back to the Map. "There's two idiot sixth-years in a cupboard on the floor above us," she said, rolling her eyes.

"Really?" James finally looked away from that stupid essay. She had half a mind to burn the thing.

"No, I'm lying, because I desperately want to traipse around the castle this late opening broom cupboards in search of horny teenagers. What do you think, James?"

He grinned at her and puts his quill down. "C'mon, then." She wasn't lying. But she did know a sprig of mistletoe would be on their way. A pure coincidence, of course.

Keeping the Map open, Lily walked to the door, determined to make some kind of impact. If he hadn't noticed the skirt yet, he'd definitely notice now. She cast a glance over her shoulder, a calculated smirk with it.

"Coming?"

Yes, he looked flustered. Win number one. But he recovered quite well, grinning again and saying, "Right behind you."

_And hopefully with the best view of my arse,_ Lily thought. She was so full of her triumph that she swivelled around and marched straight into the door, slamming her forehead against it.

"Merlin, Lily, are you all right?" James spluttered between gasps of laughter. Lily shot him a glare, rubbing her head.

"Oh, don't sound so worried for my health."

He was still laughing as they walked out together. Perhaps it wasn't that much of a win. Damn.

* * *

><p>(Day 2)<p>

"And then I walked straight into the door," Lily said mournfully. Dorcas cackled so hard that she almost fell off her bed. "Oi, stop laughing, this isn't a joke!"

"You're hilarious, Lily Evans," said Dorcas, shaking her head.

"And we didn't even pass the mistletoe on our way to the bloody broom cupboard! I'm not doing anything wrong, am I?" Lily said with a frown. "I can't fathom why this isn't working as well as I'd thought-"

For some reason, Dorcas found this just as funny. When her laughing fit faded, she wiped her eyes and said, "I'm sure you're not the problem. Although I think you could take the direct approach. Y'know, just snog him and ask him to Hogsmeade instead of toying with him."

"And, what, mope for a month if he says no?" Lily scoffed. "I think not."

"If you say so. Your little scheme is long-winded and a bit ridiculous. And it'll give you a great deal of embarrassment."

Lily shrugged it off. "Today will work for certain. At breakfast."

"What're you going to do, sexily eat your toast?"

Lily hit her with a pillow. "No, stupid. I have a plan."

At breakfast, Lily took her usual seat and read the Prophet as usual. She buttered her toast as usual and ate fruit as usual. She smiled at James as usual and chattered with her friends as usual. And when the inevitable happened, she was ready.

"Look at this, the Tornadoes lost to Puddlemere yesterday," said Sirius, chucking. "What d'you make of that, Prongs?"

"It must've been an off day for us," said James promptly.

"The weather must've been bad, of course," said Dorcas teasingly.

"Oh, no, it was the captain's tea that morning," said Lily.

"You're wrong. His knickers were a size too tight-"

"Oh, all right, shut up," James said. "On any other day the Tornadoes would've _crushed_ Puddlemere. They're pathetic!"

"Now, that's unfair. Lily's pathetic at Quidditch, but we don't say things like that aloud," said Sirius.

"Sirius!"

"Oh, you're here? My bad, Ginger."

"And I'm not that bad a flyer," retorted Lily. "In first year-"

"Oh, she'll never get over this," said Dorcas, rolling her eyes.

"-_I_ was the best at that flying lesson, even better than our precious Quidditch captain here."

There was a spark in James's eyes. "Is that a challenge, Lily?"

Lily grinned. "Maybe it is. If I'm so pathetic, you'll crush me like the Tornadoes ought to have done Puddlemere - oh, stop laughing, Sirius, my word choice wasn't that bad."

"Careful, Lily, you know how fragile James's ego is," said Remus with a sly smile.

"Well, I bet I can catch ten Snitches before he can on any day." Challenge thus delivered, Lily sat straight with satisfaction.

"Lies!" James said loudly. "Slander!"

"If you're so confident, let's go see right now. Or perhaps you'd like to skip out. We can't have the Quidditch captain lose at Quidditch, can we? Don't worry, James, I won't tell anyone." She wore her biggest grin.

He laughed. "We're mates, Lily, but I'll have you know I take competition very seriously."

"Good. So do I."

"You're not serious, Lily?" Dorcas chimed in.

But Lily ignored her. "What does the winner get?" James asked.

"Bragging rights."

"Nope, not enough. If I'm humiliating a good friend, I want it to be for a good reason." He was grinning as much as she is now.

"Fine. A bottle of Rosmerta's most expensive mead."

"What do you think I am, an alcoholic?"

"A signed photo with the Tornadoes captain."

"Do you know the Tornadoes captain?" James asked, frowning. "Because if you've been keeping it from me-"

"Don't be stupid, James. All right, bragging rights and less work during patrols... and the loser does the winner's homework for a week."

"You're on."

By midmorning, news of the challenge had spread like wildfire. Dozens of students gathered by the Quidditch pitch, where Lily and James stood with brooms in hand and listened to Remus and Dorcas rattle off rules.

"No foul play," said Remus.

"Yes, please restrict all foreplay to the bedroom, kids," said Dorcas.

"I said _foul play_!"

"Oh, sorry, my mistake."

Shaking his head, Remus continued, "And the winner is the one who gets the most out of ten, despite any and all distractions. Dorcas and I are letting out only ten Snitches-"

"-because it's damn hard to get ahold of the buggers. School won't let us use any of theirs."

"So whose are we using?" James asked, narrowing his eyes. He had turned up minus his Quidditch gear, his state-of-the-art racing broom in tow. Lily had borrowed Sirius's - there was no way she was taking James on with the school's ancient Cleansweeps.

"Turns out they're hiding an unopened box with the other Quidditch things."

"I thought we _weren't_ using the school's Snitches?" Lily said.

"Oh, only borrowing."

"You know they can't be reused, right?" said James.

Remus had turned to Dorcas in horror. "You said you had some!"

"Please. Do I look like I carry a dozen unused Snitches on me? I follow Quidditch, I don't get off on it." She gave James a pointed look.

"Hey!"

"Don't fret, Remus. I'll replace the Snitches. Let's get this thing started!"

"Wait, we need someone to examine the box. Make sure it's really not open. For all I know, Lily's touched all of them-"

"I can keep my hands off little golden balls, thanks, James."

He snorted. "Someone from the crowd. Oi, Harrison!" He waved at a short, slight fifth-year. The Hufflepuff Seeker came forward, shaking her head and grinning in amusement. She took the box of Snitches from Remus and felt the seal around the edge.

"Unbroken," she confirmed. She flipped the box open, and twelve Snitches rattled in their containers. For several long minutes she ran her fingers over the box's inside, until Lily was tapping her foot with impatience. "Yep, all clear, Potter. And Evans."

"Happy?" said Dorcas with an annoyed glance at James. "Mount your brooms, you prats."

"On three," said Remus, his hand already hovering by the first struggling Snitch.

"Wait, you aren't wearing gloves," said Lily suddenly. "You ought to do that, just in case."

James stared at her, head cocked. "You've read-"

"-_Quidditch Through the Ages_, yes. Also the lesser-known _Quidditch Handbook_."

"Merlin. I knew there was a reason we were friends."

"Glad to know it's not only because of the essays I let you copy."

James gasped in mock affront. "I resent that."

Lily laughed. This part of her plan, she felt certain, would work.

"Oh, fuck the gloves," Dorcas said, slipping off her shoes and putting her socks over her hands. "Ah, it's cold!"

"Shocking, the cold in the winter," said Remus with a grin.

"Shut up and help, Lupin."

When both referees were adequately covered, James and Lily mounted their brooms.

"On three-"

"Does _on three_ mean after three, or after two?"

"Dorcas, for Merlin's sake-"

"How about _on_ _go_? There's no doubt there."

"On go," said Remus, sounding ragged. "On your mark, get set... GO!"

They sped off into the sky. Lily was quite a steady flyer, and her perfect eyesight, she thought, would at least give her some edge over James. She caught the first of the Snitches within a minute, tossing the weakly fluttering thing back to Dorcas with a grin.

"Beginners' luck," James called, laughing. "And because there are so many Snitches."

"You'll be eating your words, James!"

Half an hour later, and both of them had four Snitches. James had been right; the presence of more than one Snitch made them easier to catch, but they were still elusive. Lily had been circling the pitch for what felt like ages in pursuit of little flashes of light. In fact, she was ninety percent sure that Dorcas was holding something up in the sunlight. Which was according to plan. Only _she_ wasn't supposed to be the one affected by it.

Her logic here had been quite simple. James, as Quidditch aficionado extraordinaire, would be more easily attracted to a girl who showed some level of proficiency in the sport. Not that he wouldn't fall for someone on principle because of their ignorance about Quidditch, but Lily was taking no chances.

Just then, something bright red whizzed past her. "What was that?" she shouted at Remus. He did not respond; he was too busy trying to pull a Beater's bat from Dorcas. _Oh, Merlin_. "Did you just hit a _Bludger_ around?"

The red ball shot past her again, almost making her lose her balance. Great. Not just any Bludger, but a wonky one. Good thing Lily had always been good at dodgeball. She shook her head. She had to go ahead with the plan.

A glint of gold caught her eye by the other end of the pitch, near the grassy ground. At first she dawdled, flying in a zigzag pattern around the pitch's middle like she'd been doing before. And then when she was close enough, she shot into the descent. Over the roaring in her ears, Lily heard someone shout, "She's seen the next one!" And then the handle of a broom, polished to perfection, appeared in her peripheral vision. Of course James would follow. They were neck and neck. Lily flattened herself over her broom, staring with determination at the gold. Soon she could see James himself, inching closer and closer. She cursed his broom. But they were almost there now, and his arms were longer than hers...

Lily stretched out her hand - not too soon, lest she lose balance and fall - and leaned further forward. Beside her, James crept ever closer. That was when she saw the blur of red hurtling towards them. Towards him, in fact. Without thinking, Lily launched herself at James. They fell about seven feet in an unceremonious heap, Lily's arm cracking with an ominous snap under his weight. She could just hear him say, "Shit, Lily, are you all right?" before everything went dark.

* * *

><p>(Day 3)<p>

"I'm _so_ bloody sorry, Lily-"

"I fucking hate you, James Potter," muttered Lily, burrowing deeper under the sheets.

Dorcas snickered. "Didn't I _say_ it was a bad idea?"

"Yeah, you don't sound much too upset about it-"

"Look, I brought chocolate!" James said, dropping into the chair beside her bed. He waved three enormous bars of chocolate at her and set them on her bedside table.

"Oh, that's lovely, James, first you injure her and now you try to get her fat-"

"Shut up, Dorcas," said Lily. "Really, James, it's fine. At least if this-" she gestured to her arm, currently in a sling, and then the Hospital Wing at large "-teaches us anything, it's that the Gryffindor Seeker is in a great deal of trouble."

"What do you mean?" James said with a frown.

"I mean, the captain can't even recognise an amateurish Wronski Feint. Whatever are we going to do with him?"

For a moment, Dorcas and James sat in stunned silence. Then Dorcas promptly resumed her cackling. James blinked at her, shaking his head. "You wouldn't - you - you-"

"Oh, I did," said Lily, grinning.

"Damn, that was - very dangerous!"

"Responsible isn't a good look on you."

"All right, it was brilliant."

"That's the spirit. Do you concede defeat?"

"But that wasn't the bet!"

"Whatever. Some amount of defeat."

"I never concede," said James with pride. Lily just shook her head. All right, maybe it had got a bit extreme. Perhaps James never lost, but she had won this.

* * *

><p>(Day 4)<p>

"James, I really can't think through the haze of pain potions I'm taking because of my dreadful, dramatic fall! Do my homework for me."

James burst into laughter. "You can only guilt me so much."

"Oh, try me." But Lily dipped her quill in ink and starting writing anyway. Her arm was back to normal now, thanks to that disgusting Skele-Gro rubbish. It had been nice, though, emotionally blackmailing everyone around her while it lasted. And now Lily was back where she'd started: shirt a little tighter, bra a little bit brighter - this time a vivid green affair after Sirius's promises about James's second-favourite colour - and skirt a little bit shorter. Okay, this time _quite_ a bit shorter. She had to exploit some weaknesses, after all.

"I can't believe you took a Bludger for me," said James, marvelling at her newly-healed arm.

"Technically, I tackled you."

"To save me from a Bludger."

"Oh, well. You have to admit it was very heroic."

"What if it had hit you in the face?"

Him being in the Hospital Wing was much more inconvenient. This, on the other hand, was easy to work to her advantage. All right, it had been painful - but it was the holidays, so she hadn't missed any classes. Besides, she'd never broken a bone before. It was a novel experience. "Better my face than yours."

He paused in his work. Suddenly Lily became conscious of the Common Room noise all around them. Why did she say things like this in public? "Why's that?" James said.

Lily opted for semi-honesty, careful to sound as nonchalant as she could muster. "You have a nice nose, that's why. It'd be ruined by a breaking."

He grinned. "You're weird, Lily."

"But you love me anyway, James."

"Yeah, I suppose I do."

It was the tiny victories that felt the best.

* * *

><p>(Day 5)<p>

Today was the day. Today was the very last day of her operation, and if everything went to plan, it would be a day of success.

She walked with James to breakfast. They passed under no less than three clumps of mistletoe. They didn't break their conversation once.

She walked with James to the library. A sprig of the plant was right above their table. Still nothing.

She walked with James to the grounds for a snowball fight. Four on the way down, three on the way back up.

Obviously, some important deity hated her.

By evening, curled up in an armchair by the fireplace, Lily had almost given up. The small triumphs of the last few days were forgotten. What good was friendly banter and heroic deeds if the bloke never liked you back? She squeezed her eyes shut. She had to think of something.

Nearby, Dorcas and Remus were whispering something. Lily strained her ears to listen.

"-has Lily told you anything new?" Remus was saying.

"I told Peter yesterday. Nothing."

Wait, what?

"No plans? No harebrained schemes? No seducing?"

"No, none of the above."

Wait, _what_?

"Damn. We'll have to send Prongs off in the dark."

"What, does Operation Get the Girl not involve thinking for himself?" Dorcas said dryly.

"You forget that he doesn't think with her around. Even if we told him she was trying to seduce him he'd be just as awkward."

"Mm, Lily's not much better. I honestly thought I'd taught her more about this whole seducing thing."

"He is playing hard to get, though."

_Wait, WHAT?_

"Only because I helped you out there!"

"Yes, all credit to you."

The traitor. All of Dorcas's advice, Sirius's lingerie tips, even kind Remus and sweet Peter - they were all conspiring against her! _Note to self_, she thought furiously, never_ befriend the best mates._

"And I must admit," Remus continued, "the Bludgers were a nice touch."

"Thanks. It took a while to get the spell right."

Lily crept from her chair unnoticed by the two traitors. All right, so they wanted to play this game? She was ready. Every Saturday, James spent a good long time in the Prefects' bathroom - doing what exactly, she did not want to know, as she had to keep reminding Sirius and Dorcas. All she had to do tomorrow was deceive her so-called mates into thinking she was far, far away with nothing at all planned, and James would go about his day in blissful ignorance. _Then_ she would get him.

* * *

><p>(Day 6)<p>

Lily had set the stage. She had complained to Dorcas about the failure of her plan, about her utter despondency, and her desire to spend the entire Saturday in the library cramming - that is, cramming sweets in her mouth. So after breakfast, Lily took a stack of books with her to the library. When she'd asked Dorcas if she would join her, the other girl had shuddered. She was safe from her friend there. Now she had to be careful of Remus and Peter - they were in the library from time to time. But neither of them did Arithmancy, so Lily entrenched herself in that section. She studied all through lunch, snacking secretly on the chocolate James had given her. Only at four o' clock did she look up from the fort of books she'd built. The Gryffindors' Quidditch practice would be over now. Which meant it was time to strike.

Putting the books back carefully, Lily cleared away her table and put her notes in her bag. Then with a skip in her step, she strolled out of the library and towards the Prefects' bathroom.

James was already inside by the time she got there; she could hear his off-key singing. Not that she regularly eavesdropped on his baths. It seemed that not everything her friends had told her was a blatant, horrific, traitorous lie. She tried the doorknob. Locked. Looking up and down the corridor to make sure she was alone, Lily pulled out her wand and tapped it, muttering the password. It clicked open. Stowing her wand away, she stepped inside the steamy bathroom and shut the door behind her.

The singing stopped abruptly.

To his credit, James kept calm. "Lily, you know I'm starkers here?"

"Well aware, thanks. Sirius keeps trying to tell me about it."

"Is this a really, really important conversation?"

"Yes, it is. Because, James Potter, I am sick of this. This _uncertainty_." She gestured between the two of them; his brow was furrowed in confusion. "And also of our friends manipulating us. I know all about playing hard to get, all right?"

He let out a choked laugh and looked away. "Who told you?"

"That's a story for another day, preferably the same day I curse them to the next country. But you are _far_ too good at playing hard to get."

"Thanks, I suppose?"

"Not a compliment."

"Right. No thanks, then."

"So I am going to take the direct approach."

"The direct approach to what?" James asked.

Lily shook her head. "Half a moment, I was getting there." She marched to the edge of the tub, planting her hands on it.

"Erm, Lily-"

"You've got bubbles in this bath for a reason, James. Please let me finish."

"Yeah, okay. Go on."

His voice sounded a tad strangled. Possibly because the intimidating leaning she was doing also strategically revealed her bra. She couldn't resist the bit of subterfuge, just in case he needed some convincing. "I fancy you, James. Do you or do you not fancy me?"

"Er."

"Sorry, not an option." Panic trickled its way into her. "Try again."

"Could you give me a moment? Maybe, turn around?"

Lily sighed. "Hurry it up, please. If it's a rejection, I might as well get the full moping time." She squeezed her eyes shut for good measure. The water sloshed around and then she could hear it dripping on the tiled floor. "James, what are you-"

"Just a second." His voice came from the other end of the room. Merlin, had she scared him off? Was he trying to escape through a window? Were there any windows in this room?

"James, what on earth-"

"All right, all right, you can look."

James was bent over his clothes, shirt in hand, with a towel around his waist. He straightened with a sigh and came to stand a few feet from her. Lily wanted to tell him not to bother with a shirt. He didn't put it on, instead running a hand through his wet hair. The gesture looked even better wet. And then Lily blushed furiously for thinking those words.

"So _do_ you fancy me?" she said, mildly surprised that she remembered how to frame a sentence.

"Of course I do," said James, utterly serious. "Have for a long, long time." And then he stretched, letting out a long sigh.

Lily's heart performed acrobatics. "That's not fair," she muttered.

To her surprise - and further irritation - James winked at her. "Don't I get a little seduction?"

"No. That's rule number one."

"So then I get to play hard to get."

"No. That's rule number two."

"That's an awful lot of rules. You know I'm known for being a rulebreaker."

"And I'm something of a disciplinarian. You'll learn." Lily tapped her badge.

"Is there a third rule?" He stepped closer.

"Yes. Kiss me when I ask."

He stepped closer. "What about when you don't?"

"I'll ask very often, believe me." Lily kept her gaze firmly above his neck. There would be no gawking. Certainly none at his not-spindly-anymore arms, at his not-skinny chest, at the trail of-

He stepped closer; she could feel the heat radiating from him. Casting an evil smile at her, James ran a finger down the side of her neck.

"Okay, you can kiss me now."

"That wasn't a question."

"Kiss me?"

He pressed his lips to where his fingers had just been. "You never specified where," James said. She could feel his smile against her skin.

Lily promptly unbuttoned the top button of her blouse. That caught his attention.

"Red's my favourite colour," he blurted, blinking rapidly as though the couldn't believe what he was seeing. Lily beamed.

"Please, James, kiss me on the lips, so I don't have to burn this bra."

"No, that wouldn't do at all," said James solemnly, wrapping his arms around her waist. He still didn't look away from her bra. Or, more likely, her tits. A sprig of mistletoe sprouted from the ceiling just then, twining downwards.

"Stupid boy." Lily tilted his chin upwards and kissed him full on the mouth.

_Note to self_, she thought - quite a while later, since she didn't have time for thoughts just then -_ always take the direct approach._


End file.
